So I went and bought myself a padded bra. And decided for the past couple of nights I would sleep while wearing it, and see how it feels. I’ve worn women’s clothing before but this is the first time for me wearing the bra.
It felt nice. Before the moment of sleep I found myself cuddling myself, playing with my fake breasts a little, and just enjoying the feeling of imagining myself with real breasts.
In other news I am still waiting to hear back from my GP. It’s been a little over 1 week so far, if I don’t hear something soon I will have to phone them to find out what progress they are making in finding me a psychiatrist to speak to. How hard can it be?
I’m leaving university too. The exams, the discovery of what I am, and that I haven’t been enjoying the course really this year all adds up to I’m going to fail anyway and it’s better to withdraw now, and get a certificate for level 1 which I passed, than get a fail for level 2. Then I need to submit an application to move onto Job Seekers Allowance.
I’m going to need a lot of help. I need to move out of my mother’s home, for a couple of reasons. First is transport links. They are very very bad here in the village which will make it almost impossible for me to find work. Second is for me to have a place that is more private where I can continue to explore and express myself with no fear or pressures on me. If I mess up how I look in the way I dress or apply makeup, I’ll be the only one to see it if I have my own place.
I know my way around an office. I’ve worked secretarial type jobs before so as long as I can secure that apartment I should be ok. I can still try to make extra cash with my music and even that will be a lot easier if I can get to other cities much easier than I am able to at the moment.