Bring out the Joy

Today has been a fantastic day. I love starting my posts with sentences like that. I wish they all could start this way. The day started out pretty ordinary, hit snooze button half a dozen times before telling myself

“yes it really is time to get out of bed now Autumn.”

I shaved my face for the first time in 5 days and that felt really good, and I was able to look at myself in the mirror for longer than 5 seconds following the shave, which is good, because applying makeup without looking in the mirror is probably quite hard.

I spent the day mostly volunteering at the tech centre and local library. I was put on a little training module that aims to make me a better volunteer. I aced that getting 135 out of 150 on the quiz at the end, for a 90% score which I was quite pleased with, not pleased enough though so I took it a second time to get 150 out of 150.

I was complimented a few times on my appearance. I guess my choice of clothing for today was as pleasing to others as it was for myself. There is this one really lovely young lady, of 60 something years, while I was at the library and we had a really nice talk with each other. She very nicely asked me what name I like to be called, and whether I would like to be called he or she, to which I told her my name, and that I would like to be called she/her. And this lady kept to that the whole time. Also there was a nice gentleman who came in, seeking some help with his Android tablet, and he said “I’ll get some help from this young lady” referring to me as he said that. This man has never met me before, and immediately saw me for who I am, which gave me a very warm feeling. I managed to help him do what he wanted on the tablet, and look forward to seeing him again if he chooses to come in for more IT help.

I wish I was better at expressing my emotions. I’ve kept them mostly bottled in, because when I used to let them out, it would mostly be frustration, and misdirected rage that would come out. There is Joy, and Sorrow there too, and the whole spectrum of everything inbetween, but they are harder to coax out of me. I have noticed I am smiling a lot more recently though. Especially when I am out doing my volunteering. It makes me happy, and the atmosphere where I do that is very chilled, and relaxing, and the people are all so very nice and completely accepting of who I am. So maybe there is hope for me yet.

I would like to give a very big thank you to everyone who has been reading this blog so far, no matter when you started following me, the comments I have recieved from some of you has really helped me in my transition so far, and is another cause of me being joyful. I love you all.

Love, hugs and kisses,

-Autumn

One thought on “Bring out the Joy

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